Adventures with the bulb syringe

Hmmm nice title huh? We've been dealing with a little sickness here. I really never had to use that "thing" the hospital gives you with my daughter. This "thing" or mini turkey baster as we refer to it has had some use with my son. I hate it but it does work. He's a fiesty thing though and just goes a little wild when he sees me coming at him with a tissue. He sees that turkey baster and he's off running away in his walker. 

Ideally you are supposed to close off one nostril to optimize the suction. One hand holds the baster, the other holds one side of his nose. How am I supposed to hold him down? I love the directions, "aim the syringe straight back toward the back of the head (not up toward the eyes)". After I've got him pinned down I can never remember up to the eyes or not the eyes. What happens if you accidently aim up to his eyes? I'm not suctioning grey matter am I?  Does anyone know?